this whole having your own business thing is tough
i have a degree, and i'm not even using it. (#fail). fashion merchandising and interior design with a minor in business. yep, i have my bachelors and i'm not even using it. i have a passion for design, i have a passion for colors, textures, pretty things, if you will. my passion for cosmetics and the beauty industry led me to my degree. it led me to where i am. um, is it even possible to have TWO passions? wait. i have another and another.... photography; pretty photos. coffee; is coffee even a passion? can i make it one? nothing beats a well designed space, photographed well, and a good cup of coffee with lipstick on the mug. can i get an amen?
fashion, interior design, beauty, photography, coffee?
stop. who am i? where did all of these things come from?
my heart is tugging me in so many directions. i don't even know what to do with it all. who has this many passions?
i can't chose anymore, i have to combine my worlds in order to feel some sort of accomplishment. is this weird? this is weird. so here i am, spilling my guts. i refuse to retreat to myself and sit and do nothing.
i think this is when i ask for prayer. i think this is the part of the post i tell you all that i'm really struggling to be all of these things, and in reality, i need to be me. usually that works, but somehow i've gotten lost in trying to be this other person who has it together and does it all. ya'll, if you could see me right now and my house.... i'm in real baggy clothes (cody's clothes to be exact, thanks babe)., sitting in our guest room because my "studio" upstairs only has two outlets and neither of them are near where i wanted my desk to go. its not even close to being finished, i haven't really even started decorating or anything. just designs in my head of what i want it to be one day.
but back to the guest room... which is filled with a couple of boxes i haven't unpacked yet (we've been in our new house since september) & the bed has a ton of stuff on it. i did light a candle though, thinking that could help me gather my thoughts.. (haha, i'm such a girl). i threw on some christian jams, ya know, gotta set the mood... my den, sunroom, tv room, living room, whatever you want to call it, has a gigantic gun safe in it that cody got for christmas.. literally.. its HUGE. so huge... i refuse to show the social media world that part of the room. i got mad at cody for putting it in the room where i was decorating first. (when you buy a house, its expensive, and so is decorating.. one room at a time, people...) bratty? maybe.. a little. yes. but its so heavy, it can't go anywhere else i had to let it go, for now, it will get moved eventually.. my interior design heart broke a little that day. i'm dramatic. we bought a kitchen table off craigslist for 25 dollars, i refinished it, and its just sitting there, with no chairs because i'm too picky and can't find chairs i like that are in my budget. why am i telling you this? because i don't have it together. my house isn't together. my expensive taste really inhibits a lot of the decorating i want to do.
welcome to my journey, my every day battles. today, i believe i can make all my passions come together and work cohesively, amongst my messy thoughts & my uncoordinated desires. is it even possible to succeed with this many passions? well, i want to find out!