i've been home with O for 8 months now,
- if you don't have your husbands support or you don't have someone in your corner saying that what you do at home is IMPORTANT and is so so appreciated, and even NEEDED, you will slowly lose your ability to continue on day in and day out because the world usually doesn't see the stay at home mom, especially MEN. (my dad + cody excluded though, and actually now that i think of it, even my sister's husbands get this, because they too absolutely understand how important being a mom is, but even more so, a stay at home mama. i see you, James, Jonathan, Jeremy, and Paul & even my brother Josh! Ya'll are the real MVPs) all of my sisters have stayed home at some point, worked part time, or now back at work because of grown kids/in school... i appreciate that.
- i am so blessed cody sees my heart, knows that what is best for our family is for me to be at home with Otis. He has never once made a disrespectful comment about what i do or what i don't do while i am home during the day. for real, he comes home sometimes and not a single thing has been cleaned or maybe the laundry still unfinished. why? because he gets it. he knows a baby is very hands on and time consuming because he himself is hands on when he is home, as he tries to give me a few minutes to myself. and even though i think i know best, he is also able to parent our child and its important for me to LET him when he is around. its been hard to 'let go' and take a break, because again, i think i am the one who knows 'everything' and can basically fix anything in a second, because a mom instinct is by far the most incredible thing i've ever experienced. but he is a good daddy. so i need to let him be.
- its isolating, being at home all the time, especially without your closest family and friends. PLUS I know nap time is best in the crib, so it is hard to get out and meet new people, ESPECIALLY other moms! because they, too, would rather stay in for the same reasons.. its a constant battle from knowing how easy it is to be home, and how much extra work goes into going OUT. babies are NOT robots, they will cry, fuss, get angry, or be their angel selves...and its just easier to navigate mood changes in the comfort of your own home... ya feel me?
- very few fellow moms have respect for mothers who stay home... some working moms pride themselves in working to provide for their family, while others simply have to work for the income. I get it. And then there's some who simply are jealous that you stay at home and they don't. this is exhausting for a newish mom who is just trying to do whats best for their family. either side of the fence you may be on, we are all just doing the best we know how... But i see the working moms, and i think, they get breaks at work, they get lunch breaks by themselves, they can have face to face adult conversation. that must be WONDERFUL. so, i have found I NEED to be content in where i am. I am so blessed to be here. no, i wouldn't rather be at work everyday away from my nugget but sometimes this mama NEEDS a break or lunch by herself. maybe even with a friend? its important. its awkward but it doesn't have to be, but its worth the effort.
- breaks don't happen. when the baby is napping, there is still house work and a home to take care of, dinner to plan, clean up from breakfast to get ready for the next meal, etc.... and if you do decide to take a break, you feel guilty that you aren't tending to the masses of house chores. the mom guilt is so real. its only becoming more real as he gets older, too. why is that?
- i thought for SURE i would have dinner cooked every night, like i used to. HA. nope. i don't even feel like driving to get the takeout food half the time, so cody does it. :D
- ANNDDDDD last but not least, money is tight. budgeting is hard. i like to buy starbucks (the cold foam is my new favorite) and go out to eat and try new restaurants... this doesn't happen as often as it did. neither does buying random things all the time. but hey, as lame as it sounds, i miss those little things.
No matter whether you stay at home, work, or don't even have children, i pray you are content with where you are in life, what stage you're in, and that you see there's more to life than just wishing for what others have. I still look at people all the time and long for something they have-- but ya'll, LONG more for what Jesus wants in your own life! It's such a hard thing to do, but I know I have to continue to trust that this is exactly where God wants me to be. I know i am where i am supposed to be, doing what I know i'm supposed to be doing... and I'm so glad He has made it clear to me. YES. its so rewarding, but its not easy. I have to fight the mom guilt, the i'm not good enough, the i could do better, the i wish i was living somewhere else-- those thoughts are a constant reminder that i need to cling to the truths that God repeatedly whispers to me every single day, that HE is in control. HE knows my desires. HE SEES ME. HE KNOWS ME.